How to maintain a healthy level of insanity

So I finally got to cleaning my room after they painted it and stuff, and I found this old stack of CDs so while going through them I found this file. I realize I could've just posted said file without the introduction, but what fun would that be? So read, read, this is funny!

Here are a few things to help make you smile!! HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. ..

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. ..

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that ..

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." ..

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. ..

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" ..

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." ..

8. dont use any punctuation or capitalization at all ..

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk . ..

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face. ..

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." ..

12. Sing Along At The Opera. ..

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme ..

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. ..

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their party Because You're Not In The Mood. ..

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. ..

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" ..

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!" ..

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. Go into a dressing room, and after a few minutes yell "HEY! There's no toilet paper in here!"